Think of a Reason till You Can’t Find One

Sunday, 18 December 2011 23:21

Written by Lamis Selim

Human relationships are complicated. More complicated than our galaxies put together, more complicated than the biological processes that take place in our bodies every day, more complicated than the 24,000 piece jigsaw puzzle that came out two weeks ago. All my life I've seen people get attached only to get detached, fall in love to become worst enemies, and make bonds that if hit with the largest magnitude of force won't be altered. So what makes you want to establish a bond with someone to begin with?

1. You have a lot in common – This could range from your way of thinking to your favorite colors and even the pace at which you walk. Finding someone remotely similar to you in gestures, personality, attitude, generally establishes a feeling of safety. Thinking subconsciously: "I'm not the only one out there, I have support when I need it, if I go down I won't take the hit alone." Relationships like these have very versatile and fluctuating potentials of lasting. It partially depends on whether the spark ignites, or is put out.

2. You idolize them – You admire them for some reason, look up to them, and secretly want to have enough contact with them so that some of their traits would rub off you. Maybe their demeanor, the way they handle situations or their strength could be quite appealing. Now in the case of our shallow human associates ( I'm sure a couple of people spring into each of our minds when I say the word "shallow"), your friend might admire the boots or shirt you're wearing, and would want to become best friends instantly after that. When someone acts super friendly towards you out of the blue, be assured this is the reason, or the one I'm about to mention below.

3. The so called "masala" – They want you for a selfish temporary reason of their own. Maybe they want to be seen around with you, or they want you to introduce them to a common friend. Situations like these are so different from the rest, that they're so easy to spot, like yin from yang. Unless of course, you're color blind and can't tell the black from the white. Or in this case you lack the 6th sense, or experience.

4. Your differences pull you together – Right, so opposites attract. And to some of us, discovering somebody is like unwrapping a box of chocolates whose flavors you don't know yet. First of all, the joy of cracking the mystery and unwrapping the box is exhilarating, secondly, whatever kind of surprise it turns out to be, it's ought to be something you like. After all, you wouldn’t get attracted to someone in the first place if you knew they would disappoint, unless you have pure bad luck, and that's an entirely different issue.

5. They're entertainers, you're the audience - A very important note is that the spotlight here is on YOU not THEM. Yes, they may be the ones sitting in the middle of the circle, but it's all because of the feelings they instill in you. They're the performers and you're just buying what they're selling. If they lose the spark then they lose you, as simple as that.

6. No reason – Where do I even begin? But this is self explanatory actually. To everyone who has ever felt this way, you know what I'm talking about. It's the reason why not every gorgeous woman is taken and not every smart intellectual man is in love. It's a disaster. Why? Because we can't explain it. Because we have no control over it, on the contrary, it controls us. I know one thing about this kind of relationships, they will most probably last the longest. If you have a REASON to be with somebody, that reason will fade, I assure you. Looks will fade, popularity will recede, his $ 200,000 Mercedes and her perfect body will crumble and wrinkle like a leaf in the fall. Even the personal traits that caused the sparks to fly from day one, all this could disappear because people can grow apart, instead of growing together. But when there's no reason, when you look into someone's eyes and feel a mystifying aura pulling you to them, an attraction of no comprehensible parameters, an intense longing even though sense dictates you've seen someone similar to them before, same eyes, same figure, same demeanor, yet it's them who made you feel you're on one end of a magnet, and they're on another end, an opposite end. Attractions like there are so scarce for a reason, nothing too divine happens everyday, and its scarcity is what makes it so damn valuable to be missed. This isn't like ordering a Pepperoni, finding out then ran out of beef and settling for a Margherita, it's God showing you, how your life can be a 1000 times better, and knowing that if you chose to do nothing about it, you're going to sit there and watch that chance disappear into nothingness.

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